Yesterday was a super long, but extremely fun, day for me. I spent the morning teaching, the afternoon grading essay summaries, and the evening with Ed and my dissertation advisor. We invited her out to dinner to celebrate the passing of my dissertation proposal and her emeritus status. Because she and I are crazy for burgers we went to BareBurger in Manhattan (Laguardia Place). Let me tell you, if you're going to indulge in a delicious, blue cheese, fried mushroom and onion, and maple-smoked thick-cut bacon laden burger on a brioche bun, THIS is the place. YUM! Side house salads, an order of fries for the table, pints of beer in hand, and awesome conversation made for a most delightful dinner ... which only continued across the street at Bruno's where we went for coffee and pastries. I finally got to sit down and be social with my advisor which was an absolute pleasure. We swapped stories, talked about family, and discussed issues surrounding working methods for writing books/dissertations.
I wore a sparkly, cowl-neck, sleeveless blouse under a 3/4 sleeve sweater. I've featured both articles of clothing in other posts; however I am simply amazed how different my clothes look on me these days -- just a little weight loss and toning really makes clothing fall so much better on my body. That skirt is the Lane Bryant pencil skirt I bought last semester and featured here a number of times. What was once tight and wiggly is now loose and hanging on my hips like a straight skirt! I need to milk my wardrobe until the semester ends because I refuse to buy anything new until the semester is over. I'm actually considering either teaching only one class next semester or taking the entire semester off to write, so it's not urgent.
I know the photo crops out my shoes. I am wearing the patent leather loafers that I gravitate towards when I know I'm going to have a busy day. They're comfortable and they enable to me run from place to place without much fuss. And let's talk stockings! These diamond patterned stocking were found on sale at Target sometime mid-fall. I love patterned and printed stockings but it is so hard to find them in my size. They're always too short or too tight. BOO!
 |
| Image: FCIT |
ACADEMIC MUSINGS AND UPDATES: I have to admit, I was a bit nervous about having dinner with my advisor last night. I really didn't know what to tell her if she asked me how I was progressing in my dissertation. After all, I am teaching three classes, two of which I've never taught before and therefore, need preparation every week. I'm trying to keep on top of my dissertation stuff, but I have only written a little bit and I have done some reading to flesh out the chapter I have already written. I, of course, told her everything. She was fantastically understanding and explained to me that doing even the simplest of tasks is still doing something! She also shared her struggles and challenges with writing and gave me some extremely helpful suggestions on how to overcome my own challenges. THIS was the most wonderful information I could ever get from an advisor. To hear that she still struggles with the challenges associated with a long term writing project was incredibly enlightening. I've always thought that once you hit a certain point in your academic career it somehow gets easier. I also hear the bragging of my fellow students and inevitable compare myself to them, making myself feel like crap because I'm not producing fast enough or in volume. I do know that their bragging is complete bullshit and a way to psyche out the students they consider competition.
Well, imagine my surprise to hear that the woman I respect with my entire being struggles! The best part: her advice! She told me her tactics of wading through the daunting task of writing and researching. She also advised me to celebrate every single accomplishment throughout the process, no matter how small and insignificant. According to her, it helps the scholar by showing that progress is being made. I am happy to say that it feels like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. I am not longer freaked out that I'm supposedly not producing and understand that I have been producing all along. Last night's conversation has released the pressure to produce quickly. It has given me wiggle room to make sure that the classes I teach are taken care of and that I work in a reasonable manner. Heck, it's even given me license for guilt-free personal time! I can't thank her enough ... perhaps another round of burgers and pastries? Or maybe a kick ass dissertation will do?
The Run Down:
Blouse and skirt: Lane Bryant
Sweater: Dress Barn
Shoes: DSW
Stockings: Target
Earrings: QVC
Necklace: Choker: gift from my mother-in-law, moonstone pendant: a tiny store at the foot of the Hill of Tara, Ireland
Bracelet: gift from my mother-in-law
Well, imagine my surprise to hear that the woman I respect with my entire being struggles! The best part: her advice! She told me her tactics of wading through the daunting task of writing and researching. She also advised me to celebrate every single accomplishment throughout the process, no matter how small and insignificant. According to her, it helps the scholar by showing that progress is being made. I am happy to say that it feels like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. I am not longer freaked out that I'm supposedly not producing and understand that I have been producing all along. Last night's conversation has released the pressure to produce quickly. It has given me wiggle room to make sure that the classes I teach are taken care of and that I work in a reasonable manner. Heck, it's even given me license for guilt-free personal time! I can't thank her enough ... perhaps another round of burgers and pastries? Or maybe a kick ass dissertation will do?
The Run Down:
Blouse and skirt: Lane Bryant
Sweater: Dress Barn
Shoes: DSW
Stockings: Target
Earrings: QVC
Necklace: Choker: gift from my mother-in-law, moonstone pendant: a tiny store at the foot of the Hill of Tara, Ireland
Bracelet: gift from my mother-in-law
I'm so glad you got some encouragement from a mentor. There's nothing better to put a little extra wind under your sails. :)
ReplyDeleteLove those tights! I'm a sucker for layering greys.
Thank you ... and yes, it was SO helpful. She set me straight, making me feel so much better about my schedule. I needed her encouragement BIG TIME!
DeleteI'm learning to love grey! I used to equate grey with bunny rabbits and refused to wear it ... until this year.
looks as if summer is coming up :-D
ReplyDelete:) OH YEAH!!!
DeleteYour words are just what I needed to hear right now :)! As I told you,I'm just in the beginning of a "long term writing project" (Ph. dissertation) and sometimes I feel there's too little time, and too much to do (courses, conferences, seminars to teach and to attend, paper to write, German to master ^^', etc. etc.). Plus, I'm a slow-writer,and havin'my fellow students claim to be able to accomplish everything nice, fast&easy...eww! It feels really good to know that I'm not the only one worrying about my path :-). Thank you!
ReplyDeletePs: on another note, you look really in shape :)! Grey suits you very well, I must say!
I am so happy to have helped you with this! I, too, went through this kind of competition bullshit throughout my PhD and it drove me crazy. I started to think that there was something wrong with me, my working methods, etc. If you read my first post you'll see that I even "normed out" a bit in order to be taken more seriously. Those competitive students (and their horrible advisors) really made me miserable. Thank Goddess for my advisor and her "no nonsense, tell it like it is" attitude. We work so well together because we are both outspoken, edgy, and brilliant. ;)
DeleteFollow your own compass and listen to your own voice. Screw your fellow (competitive) students. If they feel the need to indirectly put you down by poofing themselves up by bragging then THEY are doing something wrong!
Thanks!
Good luck with self-motivating yourself with small accomplishments and not comparing yourself to others. In business, I do the same. We all work in different ways and have different challenges to face, so it's so important to work at your own pace and set goals of your own! I think your advisor gave some great advice--I know many academics who still struggle now and then, because the challenges and responsibilities are always changing. You can do it! ;)
ReplyDeleteThank you!!! Baby steps are key! :) I was absolutely amazed that she struggles with long term writing projects ... but she has coping methods, of which I am going to put into practice.
DeleteYAY!
How fortunate that you have such a helpful advisor. I never went past the Bachelor's degree, but my advisors in college were useless. Thankfully, I had a very clear direction and knew where I wanted to go, but they could have saved me some time if they had their ... stuff... together. ;) At the dissertation level, I wouldn't have a clue how to survive and prosper without serious good advice and dedicated guidance. Stick with her, and definitely give yourself that "me" time!! GO OUT DANCING!!! :-D
ReplyDeleteOh, I am SO going to stick with her! She's brilliant and awesome, a great editor and super honest. She tells it like it is without fluff, and that's what I need.
DeleteAh dancing. There's a night this Friday, perhaps this will be our fabulous return to the Goth Scene here in NYC.