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As you might know from reading this blog, dear readers, I am not one to let my problems define me or take over my life. After all, I am an optimistic realist and I know that in order to be in a happier, more productive place in my life I have to make the first move. Change begins with me. Therefore, I've decided to be more proactive in alleviating my loneliness.
There are a handful of "Goth Meetup" social groups here in the NYC area, however most of them seem to be populated by folks in their 20s, are inactive completely, or concentrate solely on clubbing. In response, I have created a Yahoo Group, The Dancefloor Tragedies:
The goal of this group is to promote friendship among Goths in the New York City Metro Area who are over 30 and who have found themselves unable to create and maintain meaningful relationships because of demanding careers and family life.
Going to clubs is always fun, however many 30+ year olds simply can not make this a regular activity because of time constraints, other responsibilities, and sheer exhaustion from a long week at work. This is especially true here in NYC where nights start between 11:00 pm - 12:00 am when most of us are hankering down for bed. While we do promote an occasional (once a month?) club night, most of our meet ups center around more social activities like dinners, shows, concerts, museums, movies, zoo going, operas ... or just plain old fashioned hanging out.
In order to be a member of this group you must be over 35 and a Goth, meaning you must be into Goth/EBM/Industrial music, fashion, etc. You also must be within the NYC Metro area and want to be social in real life and real time (not just here on the internet). Singles, couples, child-free and parents are all welcome.
The only rule of this group is to BE NICE TO EACH OTHER. We will not tolerate flaming, abuse, or "Gothier than thou" attitudes. Disagreements happen, but you simply must be respectful to each other. One infraction: you receive a warning, two infractions: you're moderated, three infractions: you're out of here.
I'm not entirely certain how this is going to turn out or if people are even going to be interested, but it's worth a shot. Who knows? The possibilities are endless ... and maybe friendships will be born.
We need one like that in Montreal, only not 35 and older, I'm 22 and go to bed exhausted at 10 pm every night, I work 40-45 hours a week day Monday to Friday plus all the studying. I just don't have the energy to go to clubbing on weekends.
ReplyDeleteAw, maybe you can create one too? There's a bunch of yahoo groups and meet ups directed at the younger set. Perhaps there's one in your area.
DeleteGood for you! The only thing you can change in this world is yourself so I applaud you for making the effort. I hope you find some like-minded people to hang out with.
ReplyDeleteI had a bit of the same problem when I lived in Texas... had a lot of friends but they weren't into the goth scene and people that were did not seem to have the same responsibilities I did. I've been super lucky that there's a group of 30+ (age) people here in Buffalo that like to do stuff. I really hope you get a good response b/c it sucks to not have friends that share your interests. *fingers crossed for ya!
Thanks doll! I have a couple of friends here who are around my age but aren't Goth They're the sweetest people in the world, but sometimes I wish I had folks in my life (real time) who share the same passion for the music, the fashion, mindset, etc. So far it's been seriously quiet. *crosses toes too* Let's see what happens.
Deletegood luck! that sounds like a nice idea :-D
ReplyDeleteThanks!
DeleteThat sounds like a lovely idea. I hope you meet lots of friendly gothy types. NYC has always seemed to me like a place full of alternative people, so I bet loads will crawl out of the crypt =]
ReplyDeleteSeems a little restrictive to limit the age to over 35 though; as Miss Eva mentioned there are lots of younger people who don't have the time/energy for clubbing. I'm 21 and would really prefer a nice trip to a museum or a movie than clubbing because I work so much for my master's.
I'd understand if you didn't want to risk the group being dominated by immature people, but by putting a definative age limit you might miss out on some great people who are currently 34 but would actually fit well in the group.
Good luck anyway, I hope it's a great success!
Thanks! I am specifically restricting it to 35+ simply because I am looking for people who are in my age group who share a common life experience. A 40 year old's life and lived experience is quite different than a 25 year old's. I'm not trying to say that the 20 somethings are immature, which some of them are, but they are in a very different place in their lives. When I say, "hey do you know about the Banana Splits" the 35+ folks will instantly get an image in their head. We lived through the constant threat of nuclear destruction; we anxiously waited for MTV to play the newest video by Duran Duran (I was a Simon girl BTW) or Visage, we also stayed up to watch Friday Night Videos or 120 minutes, we played our music on tapes or records, the Walkman was our iPod, and PacMan was our game of choice. Movies only cost $5.00 and you called home on a pay phone for $.10. Goth was the child of Punk Rock, in turn making us all Punk Rockers. If you identified with a certain group based on music then your dress reflected it. There was (fortunately) no such thing as hipsters though we had to watch our for Skinheads. Unfortunately, Reagan was president and Thatcher was Prime Minister. Yep, these are the people that I want to attract.
DeleteOh! Now I wish I lived in NYC! Good luck with your Goth meetup
ReplyDeleteThat would be WONDERFUL! :)
DeleteYay :-)! What a great idea! I'd totally be joinin'you if I lived in NYC...and were over 35 ^^. Good luck!
ReplyDelete:) Thanks! Sorry about the age thing ... I'm trying to attract Gen Xers.
DeleteI'd definitely meet up if I didn't live at the other end of the state! Some of my old friends I made when I first moved to the area in 1995 were of the same mindset: goth (or goth friendly), same general age group, and missed the 80s desperately! *Cue eye roll from husband-"There she goes again about the 80s"*
ReplyDelete...and I'm still a Nick girl. I don't think he's aged, and can still rock the eyeliner! :)
Ah, the 80s ... how I loved them! I'm actually listening to Blancmange as I type this and thinking about hanging out at Vanderbilt's tomb here on Staten Island ... smoking cigarettes and drawing or writing mopey poetry. Sigh ... what a desperately heartbroken and strangely hopeful era.
DeleteAt least you didn't say John! For cripes sake! John? *shudder* I have a thing for lead singers: Chris Pohl, Adrian Hates ... Simon. *snicker*
I'd miss it by two years, but I recall all those things. I also recall Liquid Television. Anyone else remember how amusing that was? Jeez, now I want to watch old Aeon Flux reruns.
ReplyDeleteLiquid Television was a college era treat for me. I LOVE Aeon Flux. Yeah, I was thinking ... dangerous pastime, I know. Plenty of you 30+ would miss it and that would be a shame. So, I've changed the age limit to 30! :) Thanks for your feedback.
DeleteThe movie with Charlize Theron was upsetting. However, having seen it several times, I think it was a good try. I'm not sure it was Aeon Flux as any of us remembered it, and the first half of the movie was just a confusing mess, but it suddenly got really coherent really quickly. The premise was super interesting.
DeleteSo, I took everyone's comments to heart and had a long think about it. I would hate to miss out on folks like Tante, Coffin Kitsch, and anyone else struggling through their 30s. So I edited the group and made it over 30. Thanks everyone for some eye opening and positive criticism. HUGS!
ReplyDelete